N***** Boy Running: Appeasing White Society
Chapter One of Invisible Man left a strong initial impression on me. Reading through the elongated and elaborate torture process our main character (I'll be referring to him as Inm for the rest of this post for convenience) experienced in the chapter was at the very least mildly upsetting and at times difficult to read. The idea of being invited to a party and being promised a celebration of your worth, only to find out that you are in fact nothing more than entertainment is incredibly depressing. Inm fell victim to a brutal bait-and-switch, and the most painful part was the fact that he was too blind to realize even by the end of the chapter. Desperate for approval, Inm tolerates countless afflictions one after another, holding out for the reward he was promised. While his acceptance and ignorance of his situation anger me, I am aware that after he steps foot into the building, he has lost all say in what's to come of him over the course of the rest of the night. When he stays down, they force him up. When he backs away, they force him further in. Inm is binded to the role of the white man's plaything, required to partake in their agonizing games, all the while unwittingly feeding into their revelry with his pain and submission. By the end of the ordeal, Inm wanders back inside to present his speech to be treated like an afterthought, and is subsequently provided a scholarship. This scholarship is the promised reward, and in Inm's mind washes away the pain of all the precursory transgressions he experienced earlier in the night. At least this is the case on the surface. Inm's dream at the end of the chapter proves to me that he is at least somewhat aware of his unfortunate reality, albeit subconsciously.
This chapter made me think back to my 5th grade year in elementary school. My teacher was racist, but at the time I failed to comprehend the depth of the adversity I was facing. I was convinced that while she may have been biased against me, her teaching itself was exceptional, and so I decided not to think about it. To ensure my success in a class where the instructor herself expected and maybe even wanted me to fail, I went above and beyond in my work. I jumped through hoops and tolerated her offenses for an entire year, motivated by the desire to prove myself. I see my younger self as just as blind and ignorant as Inm, and that makes his story all the more painful to get through. When you're young you want more than anything to gain approval and and be recognized as valuable or talented. Often times this can make you blind to the harmful environment you are surrounded in, as you work to please those creating it, only for them to give you a shallow plastic sticker star to make you feel that it was worth the trouble once they are through with you. Only some time later do you really fully comprehend the gravity of your past experience. Until then you keep running.
I hate that you were able to relate to the narrator, but at the same time I think your thoughts and feelings about the scene were very well-put. I like how you were able to very clearly explain how sickening that scene is, and how futile the entire effort seems to be by the end of it. Being young and naive and experiencing discrimination and harassment without knowing is perhaps even worse than being fully aware of it; it's like you're running on a hampster wheel, trying your hardest but not getting anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI think your ability to relate to the book shows how meaningful and important the book is. Years and years later the story is still relevant and powerful. I think the narrator took a lot longer than you did to understand the mistreatment because all of society was pushing the narrative that he needed white people's approval.
ReplyDeleteI like your take on the first chapter of 'Invisible Man' and I also like that you connected what happened to the narrator to something that happened to you in real life. I think by doing this, your blog post comes off authentic and you're showing the reader that what happens in 'Invisible Man' isn't just a fairy tale but something that happens in real life. What happens to the narrator is something that happens to a lot of black people where they sell themselves out just to receive a small reward for the price they pay.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you can relate to the first chapter of the book is heartbreaking it also reveals how real this book is. You're right; when we're young, we anything for approval, and for you and the narrator, it meant trying to ignore racism and discrimination. I liked how you talked about how it's still painful for you today to realize how blind you were when you were that young, and I think your story shows that the awful things that happened to the narrator also happen to black kids in real life today as well.
ReplyDeleteWhen you brought up the 5th grade teacher, I instantly knew who you were talking about. I had her in 5th grade and I remember spending so much time on our essay-style homework and getting full credit with "good" or nothing written on it. My white classmates would spend way less time and get full or slightly less credit with words like "stellar" or "awesome" written. It seemed as if I could never be good enough and she ended up "keeping me running" to an unachievable goal.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to deal with her too bro. Unfortunate that they let her stay working there for so long, and it kind of feels like a sick joke that she came back after a temporary retirement. No child should have to be faced with such a reality at 10 years old. I feel your stories man.
DeleteI really liked your perspective, Elias. It's really awful how we has Black people are taught that to end our own oppression we have to please our oppressor enough. That scene in Invisible Man was really hard to read because it is almost a form of horror.
ReplyDeleteIt's really unfortunate you had to experience that at such a young age. I agree with the general idea though, that until you realize how rigged the system is against you, you just keep running and playing by their rules. As the narrator shows, you can even believe in the system and start to think that it is correct and any alternative is simply unacceptable. A good example of this would be when he first went to college, he was so concerned with what Mr. Norton thought and never once had the idea that this was completely wrong, how Mr. Norton's ethnicity is what mattered most to him and gave him power over him. Overall great post.
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